Hannah's blog

Who are you? Who who. Who who.

nobody@vox.com(Hannah!) — Fri, 15 Sep 2006 01:30:33 -0700

Ohhh, I am so not on when I shouldn't be. ~~Because I fucking pwn you at ALL HOURS, bitch. >DDDD~~ Ohhhh, no. Definitely not on at one AM on a school night. Heavens, no. (Why on earth would I do such a thing to myself? That's bad for your health, you know.)

I actually stayed up this late doing soemthing I should've done over the course of several days ~~and should've focussed on earlier instead of RPing with Fuji, but c'mon, it's Fuji I couldn't say no.~~ But no I decided to do it all tonight ~~and make fucking crazy jumps in logic.~~ ...it's also technically an extra credit project. ~~Yes, I'm choosing to over achieve this year. SHOOT ME.~~

I shouldn't have spent this much time on it but...I mean, I don't watch The Closer for no reason. I love stuff like this - I love 'whodunnits'. But I want to get them right. (I work really hard on them.) I want to be like Brenda and been keen and clever and super!intelligent and bag the bad guys. (I'm not, so I have to settle for being moderately intelligent, and try and figure it out to the best of my ability when I have the time, and after the fact. It's a pity, really.)

As it is, I really should have spent this much time on it, because now it's going to be hell to get up tomorrow, and I have that fucking chemistry test in the morning and I haven't studied for it, and that's the only class I'm bordering on an actual B in, which pisses me off because that's the class I've been spending the most time on. GRAWR.

I hope Mari's there tomorrow, but we are so out of synch that I really don't know how much that'll affect. We really need to start communicating - I know she's good at doing these things on her own (really good, amazingly good) but I want to help. I'm a club officer...I want to be in on it too. ~~And we need to talk about Club Week tomorrow. Like, really seriously. Like cut the anime short kind of serious. We're talking serious, bitch.~~

My braces aren't so awful. ~~I'm getting a canker sore but that's because I'm an irresponsible bitch. <3~~

As it is, I don't think I'm going to get to go to the concert next Tuesday - the Ani Difranco one. I really, really wanted to go, but I promised Mom that my grades would be all As...and they're not. ~~One A and the rest are high Bs.~~ It really ~~fucking~~ sucks, but I didn't pull through like I said I would, so I don't think we're going.

I'm taking Patsy to Homecoming, Jahaila. I have the pass and I'm going to get it to her before you do, and then she'll have no choice but to come with me ~~which is good because I'd want to be giving her the ride there anyway.~~ In your face. >P

...and now, I'm going to wash my face and go to bed.

~~Fuck.~~

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Ibu profin = good; orthodontia = hell.

nobody@vox.com(Hannah!) — Wed, 30 Aug 2006 17:00:51 -0700

SPRING IS HERE. SPRING IS HERE. LIFE IS SKITTLES AND LIFE IS BEER. I THINK THE LOVELIEST TIME OF THE YEAR IS THE SPRING. I DO. DON'T YOU? 'COURSE YUH DO.

Now, the question you've probably got for me is why I'm singing about someone (an obviously drunk, or atleast rather disturbed someone) who poisons pigeons in the park in order to get their kicks. ~~Especially seeing as I'm a hippie; you must think that's rather self-contradictory.~~

WELL IT'S NOT. SO FUCK YOU.

You see, I just don't really understand why my mother would do such a terrible thing to me as telling me I could make the decision as to whether or not I wanted braces. That's just awful. Cuz, I mean, now who am I going to have to blame for this unbelievable pain I'm going to have to undergo in order to better straighten what I've already been told are my rather straight teeth.

AND FUCK, IF I DON'T HAVE ANYONE TO BLAME, THEN WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? BECAUSE THEY HURT LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER.

...sorry about that.

Being in pain and be relatively unable to set one's jaws together ~~or move them~~ makes spacers sound really terrible. I mean, I'm sure spacers are really great if you don't have them. Fuck you, Dr. Gere. FUCK YOU.

The pain is supposed to go away after a day or so.

It better. ~~Cuz otherwise I think I might kill somebody.~~

So, how was your day? ~~Mine was poop.~~ I finally got responsible about my achedemic standards and spent the whole day trying to find my lost-since-Friday chemistry book and was then given a hard time about it when I couldn't and thus went to check out a different one. It was awful. ♥

I was also pretty mad that I didn't get to paint my comp book today in art ~~because Alena and Brittni took too fucking long, the stupid whores.~~ But then, I did get the shading piece done...even if it is rather small. (I brought a small object, what do you want from me?)

We'd better present that History thing tomorrow. Do you know how many group projects I've got going on right now? ~~Stupid fucking English teacher. Jesus Christ. And I think she hates me too. IT SUCKS.~~

I really hope Will ~~stops being a molesting asshole, while seemingly unaware that he is being as such and~~ backs ~~the fuck~~ off. It would just make things...alot simpler. You know...? And it would help me not feel so bad about not being there to help Sam out in a time of need. I mean. Seriously, now. How many times does she actually want my help...? I suck at life for not being around. Like. Really truly suck.

I did get Scarlett home though.

That made me feel good on the inside.

...

I'm not sure quite what to do with myself.

Maybe I should just go to sleep. And like.

Not wake up.

For a while.

(Maybe...I don't know. Twenty years or so.)

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Determination goes along way.

nobody@vox.com(Hannah!) — Sat, 26 Aug 2006 22:53:50 -0700

So, I'm speaking to my father again. ~~Not a huge surprise.~~ I'm out of that funk I was in on Thursday. (I still want to see you Patsy; my mom says we might be able to pull off a sleep over on Friday. Did you call me today...? It's okay if you didn't - my phone's still in the car. I'll go get it, and call you, and we can talk. But...tomorrow. I want to be able to really talk to you and pay attention, yeah? ♥) Everything is pretty much okay. I mean, until I go back to school. (...did we have homework I'm forgetting to do...? Fuck, I don't know.)

I mean, I'm in a pretty good mood. I'm relatively bored, but I've been doing things for people all day, which is very pleasing. I mean, I got to sleep, woke up to look at the fog and got on the computer; Bridgett and I teamed up to find her a model for Haku. (Like, a real one. Not just lips. ~~Love you Bridgett.♥~~) It took just about four hours exactly to go through the entire list of actresses on Wiki, but we finally settled on one we liked, the infamous Kobashi Megumi. Only, she isn't infamous enough, apparently, or maybe she would be if that word's meaning adhered to it's prefix; finding pictures of her is impossible. But, fuck, that's what I signed up for, so I spent another two hours ~~violently ass raping Google~~ finding a grand total of twenty five pictures that, by most people's standards, were not, previously, in existance.

And, as a side job, I've been rather aggrivated for a while that poor Naru-mun oly had one avatar. So I did the good-ol' fashioned pirate thing and comendeered a search engine, and then proceeded to single-handedly bludgeon the hell out of Live Journal in search of avatars. I found them, of course; her model was Hyde. With blonde hair. ~~And I mean, Jesus, that was way better than trying to find those non-existant pictures of Kobashi-sama. Sure was easier, anyway.~~

...although, the pictures are very nice.

So...everything today has gone rather well. (Shisui-mun even popped on for a while! It was wonderful!!!)

...and...

BlackEyeBleeding: My computer just pooped out a swan.
BlackEyeBleeding: -holding it-
BlackEyeBleeding: o_o
Schizo Foxes: o.o
BlackEyeBleeding: Swan: ^____^
Schizo Foxes: -pets it-
BlackEyeBleeding: Swan: -cuddles-
BlackEyeBleeding: Well...atleast it's friendly.
Schizo Foxes: ... xD -loves-
BlackEyeBleeding: Swan: <3
BlackEyeBleeding: Can I name it...?
Schizo Foxes: xD Sure.
BlackEyeBleeding: Yaaaaay! -claps-
BlackEyeBleeding: Swan: -moves and makes a swan sound-
BlackEyeBleeding: ...
BlackEyeBleeding: Hmmmm.
Schizo Foxes: Izzit a girl or a boy.. o_o
BlackEyeBleeding: I DON'T KNOW.
BlackEyeBleeding: SO I MUST NAME IT A GENDERLESS NAME.
BlackEyeBleeding: LIIIIIIIKE.
Schizo Foxes: Like Sasuke?
Schizo Foxes: -hahahas-
BlackEyeBleeding: GERALDO.
Schizo Foxes: xD
Schizo Foxes: GERALDO.
Schizo Foxes: IT RADIATES AWESOME.
BlackEyeBleeding: IT'S FEMININE, BUT STRONG.
BlackEyeBleeding: Swan: ...?
Schizo Foxes: MASCULINE, YET SOFT.
BlackEyeBleeding: THAT'S RIGHT.
BlackEyeBleeding: OR IN SASUKE'S CASE, GIRLY YET HARD-SOMETIMES.
BlackEyeBleeding: <3
Schizo Foxes: xDD
Schizo Foxes: -so amused-
Schizo Foxes: -loves so much-
BlackEyeBleeding: -loves right back- <3 SWAN, I CHRISTEN THEE GERALDO.
BlackEyeBleeding: Swan: o_o
Schizo Foxes: -Pulls out champange- ... Do I hit it with it, or is that just for boats...?
BlackEyeBleeding: ...I'm not sure.
BlackEyeBleeding: -glances at swan-
BlackEyeBleeding: Geraldo: -moves about in a 'please don't hit me with a bottle of champagne' sort of way- o________o
Schizo Foxes: -Hesitates before popping the cork- ... Do I .. at least... splash it? -Scared of getting a swan sized bite-
BlackEyeBleeding: Ummmmm.
BlackEyeBleeding: How bout we just let it have some champagne.
BlackEyeBleeding: I think that'll count.
Schizo Foxes: Mkay. Sounds good. -... Whips out glasses-
BlackEyeBleeding: Geraldo: ... ... ...?
BlackEyeBleeding: :DDD Champagne. <3
Schizo Foxes: -Offers a thimble full to the swan- oO; -Sips her own- <3
BlackEyeBleeding: Geraldo: ... -sips-
BlackEyeBleeding: -sips- Champagne. <3
Schizo Foxes: :DD
BlackEyeBleeding: Okay. The genderless swan is officially christened now.
BlackEyeBleeding: ...does that mean it's Christian and I'm not?
Schizo Foxes: ... Possibly.
BlackEyeBleeding: Geraldo: -blinks-
Schizo Foxes: ... ... -thoughtful pose-
BlackEyeBleeding: -peers at swan- ... you aren't Christian are you?
BlackEyeBleeding: Geraldo: -blinkblink-
Schizo Foxes: ... -Prods Geraldo- o:
BlackEyeBleeding: ...can animals have a religion? o_o
Schizo Foxes: ... Do animals have souls?
BlackEyeBleeding: Geraldo: -shuffles, neck bobbing-
BlackEyeBleeding: Well of course they do.
BlackEyeBleeding: They have heads, don't they?
Schizo Foxes: ... Yes.
BlackEyeBleeding: Well, everybody knows that if it has a head it has a soul.
BlackEyeBleeding: If a plant had a head it would have a soul.
BlackEyeBleeding: Head = Soul.
BlackEyeBleeding: Brain does not necessarily = soul.
BlackEyeBleeding: BUT HEAD = SOUL.
Schizo Foxes: ...... -thinks this over-
BlackEyeBleeding: Because there are things with souls that have no brains. ~~Like Geoge W. Bush.~~
BlackEyeBleeding: So Brain = Soul cannot possibly be true.
BlackEyeBleeding: But everything with a soul has a head.
BlackEyeBleeding: So Soul = Head = Soul.
Schizo Foxes: xD So true. So Geraldo has a soul, shouldn't h-sh-- it decide whether it wants a religion then?
Schizo Foxes: -glances to swan in question-
BlackEyeBleeding: ... ... -nods- Yes. -peers at swan-
BlackEyeBleeding: Geraldo: o____o ? ? ?
Schizo Foxes: ... GERALDO. EXPLAIN RIGHT NOW.
BlackEyeBleeding: Geraldo: -makes a meeping sound- O_____O
BlackEyeBleeding: -peeeeeeers at him- Yes. Explain.
Schizo Foxes: ... He-She-it's not explaining! -flails-
BlackEyeBleeding: ... GERALDO. EXPLAIN RIGHT NOW, BEFORE I MAKE YOU NAMELESS.
BlackEyeBleeding: Geraldo: O_____________________________________O
Schizo Foxes: We need to have him have a twin named RRRR. -random note- W-Why won't he explaaaan? -bursts into tears- D-Does he have a secret to hide?
BlackEyeBleeding: ... well...probably. Maybe sh-h-it's lonely. -ponders this- ...do you think sh-h-it needs a sibling or something...?
Schizo Foxes: ... Hm. Geraldo, are you... lonely? C'mon, speak up now.
BlackEyeBleeding: Geraldo: -blinking rapidly, ruffling feathers-

Sasu-mun is wonderful.

I feel I should mention that.

...and, just for kicks, here's a bunch of five-year-old's dressed as ninja. Much love. ♥

ADORABLENINJA

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Here I am, in orbit again...

nobody@vox.com(Hannah!) — Thu, 24 Aug 2006 20:17:18 -0700

I'm sweating like...well, no, not a pig. Pigs don't sweat - did you know that? They have no sweat glands. None. (Kind of makes the whole 'sweating like a pig' gesture seem warped, doesn't it...? I really wish I sweated like a pig. Then I would stink. Which I do, by the way, whether or not you think so. I fucking reek.) I can't stop moving though. I'm restless and listening to pirate music - what else would I do...? I mean, I can't help being restless. Pirate music gets me riled, and I'm pretty much in hell right now. Well, almost.

When she says yes, I'll reach an epitome. That's just what'll happen and I know it will. And what's the funniest thing, that's what you'll ask (I know you will), and I'll answer with that too-happy laugh I always have when my friends are being assfucks. I'll tell you that, without a doubt, the funniest thing is that he miraculously remembered her after a small while, and she's going to accept him without a second thought in the matter. I can't stand her. I can't fucking stand her. And it makes me laugh.

And in other news, Jahaila is being a bitch. I don't know why. I really don't. Maybe she thinks that now, since I actually know something about her, I'm a threat to her survival. Maybe she thinks that since she's stopped trying to hide the stupid things, it's okay for her to act like a paranoid attention-deficient-hyper-active retard around me in order to get my attention. Or maybe it was because he was there. Maybe...maybe she's just as addled as I think she is around him, totally ga-ga and acting like a complete freak. She made me want to cry. She smacked me so hard my arm turned bright red. (She smacked me for smacking her - I smacked her because she stole it without asking and I was hungry and pissed off and in the middle of hell and she had the nerve to smack me back.)

Jesus, I want to fucking kill her. She's such a bitch. They both are. Goddammit, they both are. I'm going to fucking kill them. Fucking kill them. Nasty bitches. Goddammit. How dare they make my life hell...? How dare they drag me down? It's the fourth day of school. The fucking fourth day of school. I hate them. Both of them. Forever. And I'm going to kill them. Because they are bitches. Fucking. Bitches.

I want Fuji-sama to come back. I miss her. I miss being able to totally drown myself in Oshima. Oshima is wonderful. Wonderful and far away. And there's angst there - Shisui and Itachi have issues, certainly. Certainly certainly certainly. But that doesn't mean it all goes to hell. And even then, hell in Oshima is so much nicer than hell is here.

I'll kill them.

I fucking hate them.

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I think my head broke.

nobody@vox.com(Hannah!) — Mon, 21 Aug 2006 19:07:22 -0700

Today was alright.

A fiery brimstone kind of alright, but alright.

As in, I had to get my schedule changed for no less than the third fucking time, and I already have homework ~~that I'm skipping out on~~, and my friends are already driving me crazy alright. But really, I'm fine. (Pretty fucking dandy, actually.)

No. Seriously. I love my teachers. (Bach just makes me so happy.) I have friends in my classes. (For once.) And I mean...I'm alright. (I have a headache and it hurts like a mother, but, honest-to-God, I am alright.)

But Fruit Monkey is back.

(And you must, of course, understand that this means my world is hell.)

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Yes, sir, let kids rule the land, let kids rule the land, as God really planned.

nobody@vox.com(Hannah!) — Sun, 20 Aug 2006 19:27:28 -0700

Now, to say I'm a bit nervous about going to school...well, it really wouldn't be accurate. I'm not nervous. I mean, at all. I'm not nervous, even a little.

By which, of course, I mean, the word nervous doesn't even begin to cover it.

Um...cramped up covers it a bit more accurately. I mean, I'm not terrified, but I'm certainly worried, nervous and otherwise very averse to going back. I mean, not dancing around nervous. Like, stomach jumpy nervous. Like, rather uncomfortable kind of nervous.

I mean, I'm sure I'll be alright. I'm always alright, don't get me wrong.

I mean, it's not like it's the teachers I'm worried about.

...

...any of you who think it's funny to throw me fastballs? It isn't. If you have problems after break, I'm going to an enforce a 'we don't tell Hannah anything she doesn't need to know' code of honor for like. A week. (Think you guys can handle a dryspell that long? That means you Kate. Jahaila. Paige. PAIGE.)

Although, there is the fact that I'm older, now. In a new grade. Am not the dirt on the senior's shoes anymore...which means I have friends that are. (There is that - I'm really excited about that. I want to show you everything, Bridgett.) And, I mean. I miss people. (Scarlett. ♥) And I haven't seen or heard anything out of Mari in a while. And there's Anime Club this year. (Anime Club! ♥)

In the meantime, of course, I'll stick to worrying. (Always have been a pessimist, might as well get it out of my system.) That, and biting Tayuya's neck. (...how did that happen, anyway? Itachi is so not a Homecoming King. Queen, more like. *is stabbed*)

...

In other news, I got a message from Temari that made me supernostalgic!happy. It was awesome.

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I think I'll become a nun.

nobody@vox.com(Hannah!) — Thu, 10 Aug 2006 00:12:18 -0700

I've got anger issues when it comes to my father. Have I mentioned that? I think I probably should. Don't get me wrong; my father is my father. He takes good care of me. I love him. There are times when I really don't though. (Guess what? Now qualifies.)

Because, honestly, I didn't need to know he was going to Europe with her, and yes, I certainly will use her name (Katrina, what a pretty name for such a pretty lady) and I will hate you for allowing me an image to couple with this disembodied hatred that I should not nurture, because it hurts to have. I will not say a word, because I know how I easily I hurt your feelings. I know it took alot of courage to do what you've just done. ~~...betray me...?~~ I know all you want to do is be a good father to me and my sister.

But you're never around Dad. You're never there. And I know that we don't interact at your house as much as you'd like, and I know we have nice conversations sometimes, and I know that there are times when we feel like we're family, like we really know each other, but you're never there Dad. Because if you were, you would fucking understand.

"I was sort of expecting your mother to find someone before I did."

Well, if you were around you would understand why she hasn't. She doesn't have time, Dad. She doesn't have time for much of a life apart from us, and do you know why? It's because she is always there. Without fail. She sacrifices everything for us Dad. You work. That's super. But she is there. She has never left my side, and never not tried to do what's best for my sister and I. She lives for us, Dad. Do you understand that? Because I don't think there's anyway you could.

You have never been here, there is no way that you could see the way my mother bends and breaks herself to keep my sister and I as happy as we can be. She does everything in her power to keep us happy. She is brave and strong and gives us her all no matter what. She has never let me down, Dad.

And my mother hasn't found anybody because she knows that I have a mother and a father and a sister, and no one else. I am not letting anyone in, and my mother respects that.

Why couldn't you respect that? If you have someone I didn't need to know. I don't really want to know too much about the way you live here, in your little City of Love, Dad. I'd really rather imagine you as being very much alone because it would be the least you could do to console me, you know? ~~You left. Not me.~~

"I just want to be honest with you."

I wish I could say the same, Dad.

But if I told you that I hate you most of the time, it would hurt your feelings, right...?

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You know NOTHING of early morning.

nobody@vox.com(Hannah!) — Tue, 25 Jul 2006 06:29:42 -0700

Okay, so I woke up at five AM this morning, and it wasn't light out (which was a complete and total surprise) and the only thing I could really think about is the fact that, in one day, I'm going to have to (on five hours of sleep, mind,) ace a geometry test, take a geometry quiz, tell all of my friends I will be available neither on instant-messaging nor by phone for two weeks, make my room look presentable, clean poop off the floor (Imma fucking kill that dog we just cleaned those carpets,) get rid of my sailor mouth and my tendency to spout random Japanese phrases if given the opportunity, and welcome a foreign exchange student into my house. ~~Oh, and steel myself to the fact that that means no gay man porn for two weeks. (Joy.)~~

This is going to be an adventure, I can tell you. We still just have so much to do - right now I'm just waiting out a pocket of time that is slower (probably because it's already 87 degrees outside, and it's 6:30 AM in the fucking morning.) I mean, I just don't know if I'm nervous (but I probably am) or excited (which I probably am too) or if that episode of the Closer last night just made me jittery. (I mean, come on, a severed head in a dumpster? That's remotely traumatizing.) At any rate we're all just kind of rushing around like chickens with our heads cut off, trying to figure out howto fit all we have left to do into the miniscule amount of time we have left to do it in. (I mean, my biggest dilemma at the moment is if I look presentable - do I ever look presentable? - and if that'll last me until the end of the day - I doubt it.)

I just hope I can do this, you know? ...and I really, really hope we get along.

(I really, really hope we get along.)

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Bleary bleary bleary.

nobody@vox.com(Hannah!) — Sun, 23 Jul 2006 08:21:15 -0700

I just woke up and I'm already on this vile machine - if that doesn't give you a whole bunch of insight as to what my life is like and what my priorities are, I don't know what will. (Of course, Hilary - my friend in England - think it's cute that I'm sleepy in - what is for her - the middle of the afternoon, and that makes me go all blushy, and probably doesn't help any counter-argument I might have to provide her with. And now, of course, I'm all flustered...people younger than you shouldn't call you cute, should they...? ... ... ...I'm not cute...and I'm not blushing. Yes I know it looks like it, but you're wrong. Dead wrong. Moving on.)

I'm not unhappy, though. (As you might've guessed, I rarely ever am, atleast on the weekends. But I don't ever really fully wake up during the course of the week, so I don't really think that counts.) I left my window open last night on accident because the breeze felt nice, and the sunlight just gushed in around seven, all bright and hot and yellow and happy to see me. And, I mean, it was early, but it didn't become unignorable for a while; it let me wake up gradually. (I can't help but be greatful for that.) I'm pretty hungry, but I'll cure that later...

We went to Sloat Nursery yesterday and bought a few flowers to plant in the garden; a few plainer flowers, and some lavender, and a big, crimson Dahlia. (They look like this, just so you know...very pretty.) It took all day out in the heat (which was severe in San Francisco, but not at all intolerable from a Sacramentan viewpoint) and we met up with a few mishaps and setbacs, but they're all planted now, and looking healthy and happy. (I can only hope they'll stay that way - I really do love gardens, and those flowers are so beautiful and smeel so good.) It was odd for me to be out in the sun all day, but probably good for me too. I mean, I have new freckles on my knees. That's good, isn't it?

New freckles are good luck, after all.

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Shift in sleep and wake up late...

nobody@vox.com(Hannah!) — Sat, 22 Jul 2006 11:00:29 -0700

Now, I am aware that I consistently work very hard to get to these things at Kate's house and that I also consistently have good time, but leave extremely exhausted. Even being as emotional as I am, it's hard to go through a scale that wide in such brief intervals. There isn't much you get to bask in, at Kate's house - everything feels like rushed molasses, with too many places to go but not enough inertia to actually want to get there. It's not bad but it's just so exhausting.

I mean, the night itself was fun - if you really have to know, it was a 'movie night' that was pretty much a huge coverup so that Jahaila and Andy could try and hookup, which they can't ever do because Damaris has that twitchy 'no boys near any of my daughters' thing going on that I'm sure the divorce hasn't helped. It was fun; I mean, in a kind of 'well, if I had to die or be here, I'd rather be here, I guess' kind of way. It was me, Kate, Ben, Paige, Jahaila, and Scoopy from five to nine PM (because Mari and Andy never showed,) and we just hung out and learned uncomfortable things about each other, and then tried to laugh it off, which is what pretty much always happens.

We just talked, waiting for everyone to get there for a while; held Manindoorag (Kate's snake), watched Ben and Paige cuddle, laughed about inane things, listened to music. Jahaila kept trying to call Mari but she didn't have very good reception (no one did) and Mari didn't pick up, so that was pretty much the end of that.

After everyone had arrived (well, almost everyone) I got bored and started a game of Ten Fingers. (If you don't know what Ten Fingers is, it works like this: all the players get in a circle and put out both hands, spread eagled, so you can see all ten of their fingers - or maybe twelve if they're lucky, and seven if they aren't so lucky, and eight if they're being a smartass and not counting their thumbs. At any rate, after everyone is ready, and has their hands out where everyone can see them, somebody begins by saying "I have never --" and stating something [that probably has something to do with sex] that they have never done. Anyone who has done what that person has never done puts a finger down. It goes around in a circle until everyone puts all their fingers down. The goal is pretty much to topple the person who holds out the longest; you can pretty much scale from there if you do choose to play with sex questions. S/he who puts his fingers down the fastest is the naughtiest; s/he who puts them down last is the most innocent.) I like that game. It gets really funny really quickly, especially if you're as ridiculous ~~or as horny~~ as the majority fo my friends.

So, of course, Scott was the last one out (and that's only because we aimed really low and spouted off things about Dakota Fanning and getting caught masturbating.) Jahaila was second to last (surprising, but not if you really think about it) and Paige was the first (not surprising at all.) Kate went into negatives, but I think I did too (just to keep the game going long enough to get Scott out.)

After that we played a short game of Truth or Dare that got ~~too uncomfortable and~~ dull too quickly, so we all kind of just ended up breaking off into pairs, which pretty much means Scott and Kate got the couch, Paige and Ben got the bed and Jahaila and I just kind of putsed around, and eventually resorted to watching episodes of the Colbert Report on Kate's computer, which everyone thought was moderately funny. By this time, it was about 845, and my leave was anticipated at 900, so we decided to divide up Scott's (belated) birthday cake (a creation courtesy of Paige and Kate) and eat it. So we woke everybody up, put candles on it, sang, blew them out, and cut it. (One of the best cakes I've ever eaten in my life - I love Kate's passion for baking random pastries. She makes really good frosting.)

And then we sat down to watch a movie and - twenty minutes into it - Dad came to get me, and I got in the car so we could barrel down a two-hour-long stretch of highway to his house in San Francisco which is where I fell asleep and where I am now.

And I slept good. Honestly, I think I slept the best I have in a few months. I was just so tired, and it felt really, really good. Relaxing. Comforting. Like...I was really going to sleep, and it was all okay. I wouldn't have to wake up early in the morning, there wasn't anything I was forgetting to do. And the wind...oh the wind is so nice in San Francisco. Did you know that? It's so cool and nice and it flits over your face and through your window like a bird. It's dark and fleeting and always just cold enough to make you feel safe in a down comforter.

So just slept. I slept warm and I slept good and I slept long, and I felt so loved and warm, wrapped in blankets and wind and the nighttime. And even in the morning, when the sun gets hot and comes to rub up against you like some obnoxious, long-haired cat, it's alright because even if you can't get it to stop wanting your attention, or convince it to leave you alone, the wind still darts between the intervals, and crowds out discomfort.

I had odd dreams that made my stomach churn - one where Mari and Andy came, but Mari (while still being Mari) was short and blonde and built like a stick. That one was brief. But then, I had a very angry dream where my Japanese exchange student got kidnapped before she arrived, and so they sent a very small Korean girl who is in my math class to be my exchange student, and I tried to explain to Miko-sensei that they couldn't do that, and that I wanted Uebayashi-san to be my exchange student, but she said that there was nothing they could do because they could not find her. (Maybe I'm more nervous about this exchange student than I think...?)

I woke up slow, though, anyway, even though my dreams were bad, and I just lay there for a while, not quite asleep and not quite awake, but happy and at peace with myself. And, for the record, that means that part of nirvana has to be sleeping in late.

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